neon glowing white
hot flame blank screen
pages of you to write
but I only wish to
sleep for milleniums
until I find love in the concaves
of my dreams.
aunts, neighbors, collegues
open their mouths and have an opinion
no one asks what makes me happy
only wonder in silence if I’ll ever make money.
they care profoundly
about the wrong parts of my future.
are too burrowed in their own sorrows
to manage any optimistic words.
this is the moment
when everyone demonstrates
they’ve ever known me.
sitting on piles of Hard Work and Dedication
[busywork, wasted time, and bullshit
nothing is meaningful under the sun
I could only be dedicated to something I love]
vaguely, distantly proud
because I was on the path they took
that led them to such
I don’t want my heart to die
as I grow older
I want to forget routine
I only want to bleed
and see the cities
breathe their smoke
cough while laughing
kiss strawberrily and sleep in a haze
film foreign obscure dark themes
and forget the American dream.