Wordless Limbo in Nostalgia Autumn

Listen to “Push” by The Cure whilst reading.

Limbo is my blissful state of wonder as I wander through warm fall cement hometown streets, air alive on my face like ice,

am a soul, an entity, floating through towns, through nostalgia, blue as the sky between clouds over leaf parks where faces from years ago appear before my brain like slideshow daydreams, my tranquility, breathing deeply in all that has passed.

who am I other than two feet whose path my heart creates like music before my eyes at dawn, so when I awake I know where to place my toes; one day, one particle at a time, one breath, one embrace at a time.

thinking of dark naive autumn nights from past autumns, car windows and 30 degree mornings, his cigarettes, winter promises, notes written with ink, soul, gratitude for the magnificence of teenage love,

we beat time and lived in pockets of paradise and pure soul,

stuck in blissful short-sighted love, disposable years, almost intoxicating with nostalgia,

and in my imagination, clearer even than memory, we rode in pastel blue Cadillac convertibles, grape soda and kisses and long hair,

behind us, like sweetness and past. don’t ever disintegrate around me, I never want to see anything fall apart again, I only wish to hold, I only wish for a love like wordless music surrounding me, consuming me like color,

electric and raw and wooden proclamations pure soul and essential emotion, I hope your essence will envelope me, our dreams will cover the city with street-lit incandescent transandean snow, I hope you breathe as full as the milk moon, your respiration glows in autumn light, golden empty street night, surely it is Primavera but autumn resides in my veins, my body in eternal limbo, my skin in eternal Summer, I will meet you like the dawn, and you will see: desire is why we live in the end…


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